No Title Needed

January 6, 2010....11:45 PM.....I'm up, I don't know why...I go to the bathroom, and get back in bed.....

My phone rings, I'm thinking...."this better be good"...I notice it's my mom....

I answer....and the next words I hear will forever impact and change my life as I know it.... "Emile is dead."

At that moment, my heart literally broke....not just into two pieces, into a million pieces.

Emile was my 16 year old cousin who if you ask anyone in my family....they will all tell you "I raised him." I babysat him for YEARS! Literally YEARS. I took him to football practice, baseball practice, hair cuts, dentist appointments, doctor appointments. You name it, I took him. We spent everyday, all day together during the Summer. He was my sidekick, he was MY baby. He was my Emile. And we have forever stayed close.



I often have told Keith that if it ever came down to having to choose between rescuing Emile from a fire, or rescuing Keith....that I would have to choose Emile....Why? Because I could find another Keith, I know I would never find another Emile. And I assure you to this day, I know I will never find another Emile. And I'm okay with that....besides no one would ever be able to measure up to my Emile!

So, this past week....I found out how much people knew about Emile and I's special relationship.....

As of today, I have received about 8 emails from people, some I know, some I don't, that all have a special memory of Emile, and they all include me....Many emails say "You dont know me, but everytime I think of Emile, I see you right beside him holding his hand or smiling down at him." Or, "My best memory involves you and Emile, because of your special bond."




These emails are such a blessing to me at this time.... That people who I dont even know know how much he meant to me, and how much I hopefully meant to him. Because he was my heart. A piece of me went to Heaven with him. I read them and feel so overwhelmed with PRIDE. Pride that I made an impact on Emile's life. That I was his babysitter for so many years. That when people think of Emile, they think of me. It is such a great feeling in this great time of sorrow for me.

The good news???? Is there any good news in all of this???

YEP! Because Emile is in Heaven now. And he is preparing a spot for me to join him one day. AND, when Keith and I have a baby....he will be there....right there with me.... Watching over me and my unborn child...and he will make sure that everything is perfect. He is watching over my family and taking care of us all.....He is definitely talking God's ear off, and probably Jay's too. Most importantly, I can talk to him WHENEVER I want to now and I know now he can't just ignore me! He has to listen! And boy do I talk to him alot! So one day, when my time comes, I can't wait to see my Emile, wrap my arms around him and give him a big kiss on the cheek. And mess up his hair.... He will be there waiting, I know it.